The labels we use to describe gender identities are growing and expanding, because, as humans, our ability to understand each other is also growing and expanding.
Here’s a list of these gender identity labels with quick definitions of each. But before we jump in, one important thing to know:
Gender identities aren’t just male, female, and in-between
Gender doesn’t fall on a scale with male at one end and female at the other. It’s far more expansive than that. For example, agender people (like me) lack gender altogether. On the other hand, some people experience a combination of genders, multiple different genders at once, or a sense of gender that is something entirely different from male and female altogether.
If that’s overwhelming to try to get your head around, it’s OK. We exist in a big universe, and there’s a lot of complicated things going on.
Let’s move onto that list.
Gender identities in alphabetical order
- Agender: a person who has no sense of gender. Also sometimes called genderblank or gendervoid.
- Androgyne: a person whose gender is a combination of male and female (though not necessarily in equal amounts)
- Aporagender: a gender identity describing people who have a strong sense of gender that isn’t specifically male or female. This umbrella term includes gender identities like androgyne and maverique.
- Autigender: a person whose experience of gender is directly related to their experience of the world as an autistic person.
- Bigender: a person who has two genders they switch between or experience simultaneously.
- Cisgender: a person whose gender identity matches with the gender they were assigned at birth. More simply put: not transgender.
- Demiboy: A person who is somewhat male, but not entirely.
- Demigirl: A person who is somewhat female, but not entirely.
- Genderfluid: A person whose gender shifts between multiple genders in a fluid way.
- Genderflux: A person whose gender fluctuates in intensity.
- Genderqueer: An umbrella term for a person whose gender is not strictly male nor strictly female (sometimes used synonymously with nonbinary).
- Gender questioning: A person who is questioning whether or not they really are cisgender, but is uncertain about their gender identity.
- Man: A person who identifies with the male gender. May be either trans or cisgender.
- Maverique: A gender that is neither male nor female, but still a very present gender—just something entirely different.
- Neutrois: A person whose gender is neutral or absent. Neutrois is an umbrella term which includes a variety of genders, including agender.
- Nonbinary: a person whose gender is outside the gender binary; not strictly male nor strictly female.
- Pangender: A person whose gender identity spans multiple genders. May consider themselves a member of all genders.
- Polygender: A person who has two or more genders that they switch between or experience simultaneously (includes bigender and trigender).
- Third gender: A term used similarly to nonbinary to refer to people whose gender identity isn’t strictly male or female, but is either somewhere in between, a combination of both, no gender at all, or something else entirely.
- Transfeminine: A person who is transgender in the direction of femininity, but may or may not be a woman.
- Transgender: A person whose gender identity does not match the gender they were assigned at birth.
- Transmasculine: a person who is transgender in the direction of masculinity, but may or may not be a man.
- Trigender: A person who has three genders they switch between or experience simultaneously.
- Two-spirit: A gender identity specific to indigenous peoples that transcends western views of gender. It describes someone whose body holds both a male and female spirit.
- Woman: A person who identifies with the female gender. May be either trans or cisgender.
There’s lots of overlap in gender labels
Many of the terms fit together and overlap with each other. Multiple terms can describe the same person at once. Think of it like a network with parent terms, child terms, and terms that overlap with each other.
This chart will help you see that there are taxonomies to how these terms fit together. This visual is a little oversimplified, but gives you more context than just a list.
Many people identify with multiple labels on the above list. Take me for example: the words agender, nonbinary, neutrois, transgender, and genderqueer all apply.
Other gender-related vocabulary to know
- AFAB & AMAB: These are abbreviations for “Assigned Female At Birth,” and “Assigned Male At Birth,” respectively. These terms reference the sex designated by medical professionals and placed on a person’s legal documentation when they were born.
- Bioessentialism: An outdated and unscientific belief that binary biological sex dictates someone’s gender.
- Binarism: Erasure or prejudice against nonbinary people—people who aren’t strictly male or female. Also sometimes called enbyphobia (pronounced NB phobia).
- Binary genders: Genders that are one of these two: either man or woman. (A binary-gendered person may or may not be transgender.)
- Deadname: The given name that a transgender person has rejected because it conflicts with who they are.
- Gatekeeping: The act of creating laws, regulations, and criteria for people to comply to before allowing them to identify as transgender or receive transgender healthcare.
- Gender dysphoria: A profound sense of unease coming from the fact that the person you are is being distorted beyond recognition. You can experience both social dysphoria and body dysphoria.
- Gender euphoria: A term for the powerful experience of expressing your true self. The inverse of gender dysphoria.
- Gender identity: a person’s gender identity is who they are.
- Gender nonconforming: People who break gender norms but aren’t transgender.
- HRT: The acronym for hormone replacement therapy. A medical treatment that helps people end up with the hormone balance they need.
- Intersex: a person who has a combination of male and female sex characteristics. It’s the “I” in LGBTQIA+. Intersex people can be cisgender, transgender, or any other gender identity.
- Medical transition: Various medical procedures that help align a person’s physical body with the person they know themselves to be.
- Misgendering: When a person is referred to as a gender that is not accurate to who they really are.
- Neopronouns: a word that literally means “new pronouns.” These pronouns are used to reference people of different genders with a higher degree of nuance.
- Social transition: The act of shifting a person’s life to align more with their gender. Includes things like changing your name, changing the gender on your birth certificate, adjusting how you dress, asking people to use different pronouns in reference to you.
- TERF: stands for trans-exclusionary radical feminist. These are folks with anti-trans beliefs who don’t acknowledge transgender women to be women.
- Transgender: A person who was assigned a gender at birth that doesn’t match their true gender.
- Transgender man: a person who was assigned the female gender at birth, but whose gender is actually male.
- Transgender woman: a person who was assigned male at birth, but whose gender is actually female.
- Transmedicalism: The false belief that you’re only trans if you have body dysphoria and physically transition. This is a specific type of bioessentialism.
- Transphobia: Discrimination against transgender people.
- Truscum: a group of people who hold the dangerous belief that there are true transgender people and fake transgender people.
So how many genders are there?
On this page is a list of 25 of genders. But that doesn’t mean 25 is the sum total of all the genders. The truth is, there’s no way to put a final number on how many genders there are.
Gender is about a person’s sense of self, and each individual person is likely to experience gender differently.
Gender identity labels are simply ways for us to relate to each others’ different experiences, and describe our own more clearly.
And while many people are men and many people are women (those are the binary genders that we’re most familiar with) there are also many people for whom those terms just aren’t accurate.
Which gender identities made this list?
It would be impossible for me to list every single gender on this page, but I do regularly keep it up to date with newly-established gender identity labels.
These labels are evolving in ongoing discussions among the trans and nonbinary community worldwide, and I’m adding to this list as they gain traction in that conversation—and as I come to a clear-enough understanding to feel confident briefly describing them.
Each one has intricate nuances and variations, and even—most likely—its own gender pride flag. There’s a huge amount to know about each one, and our understanding is still massively expanding.
The list is still growing
As it becomes less taboo for us as a society to start talking about our gender identities and expressing our true selves, more are coming to light. This is by no means an exhaustive list, and I’ll be adding more to it as I learn more.
Is a gender identity label that resonates with you missing from this list? Let me know in the comments.
Genderfluid flux
Gender X
I just think that all of these different names and classifications are too complicated. I dont really think it is that important to have a different gender. Some of these are fine but I just think there are so many that it becomes unimportant to have most of them because really in the end no one really cares if you are half man half woman but also neither at the same time and it gets to the point to where it’s just someone trying to invent new genders just do they can be different
Or maybe they actually are different and it matters because who people are matters. Pretty simple.
25 genders is a lil excessive tho
Tell that to God; I didn’t create them 😉
How one decides to label themselves doesn’t exactly matter – they are whoever/whatever they say they are. Saying they’re making them up just to be different is saying the label they prefer is not valid. How would you feel if you woke up one day and everyone in the world said you weren’t whichever gender you identify as, and that you just made it up to feel special/different?
Before making comments like the one you did, perhaps you should think on how the people using those “different” labels would be affected by your choice of words.
-Sincerely, an agender person who uses a “different” label 🙂
you just built different
Totally bizarre. First it was Learning Disabilities, then Autism, now we have No Gender. Who makes up these terms?
People who experience life differently from you. Apparently you could stand to meet some.
The CDC, during ongoing pandemic, only recognizes two genders. Just Saying…
It’s not news to me that people don’t recognize people like me as real, Cara. Take your condescension somewhere else.
Hi Adrein, Tim again.
Wiping out the snide remark that she stung with at the end.
In the cases of medical research given in her statement (CDC) That is the inherent benefit of (and subsequent complexity of) classification systems, I believe.
FOR a very large number of people this is a very new restructuring of important information.
People, pretty much all of them resist change of most every type. The ideas of my youth in the 60’s-70’s caused me to be looked on lovingly by my parents as a two headed beast. Speaking of my grandparents… Pretty much inquisitive nods and blank stares.
All that I can say is that the science will catch up with and as time passes and our senior loved ones fall, more folks will be talking your language and seeing life with your eyes. Try to give us oldsters credit for our own gardens of curiosities. We helped you, again lovingly, to get to the lab so that you could find your own seeds, plant, nurture and study them.
Maybe you might have your own blank stares one day, I but I’m guessing that you are hungry for new knowledge too.
Be well.
Tim
Here to SUPPORT, Adrien! TAKE CARE!
By your belief system this particular classification subtype is non ending and in a constant state of Flux. Ie. Therefore We are humans and are without gender classification as every humans that experience life differently.
Because we all think and process individually we can be considered unique. It is this unique experience that muddies any classification system that might be attempted. My understanding of your groupings in this example would be that gender is not a classification at all or that perhaps your gender might rightly be claimed as Adrein Converse.
I don’t feel that Toby’s response was intended as mean spirited but I could definitely see boatloads of information coming his way as New knowledge when he (like I, age wise) may be of an age where learning takes a back seat to most everything (so very sadly) else in lìfe.
Adrein, thank you for writing this article and sharing your knowledge.
Respectfully,
Tim
P. S. hetero-male, kinda old school but still hungry for knowledge every day.
Whether Toby’s comment was intended to be mean-spirited or not, it was disrespectful and dismissive.
I agree with what you’re saying about classification systems. Even though they have flaws, it’s also very useful to be able to name an experience so that people of similar experiences can connect and support each other. Especially when they are of a minority and are often told they don’t count or aren’t legitimate. Connection is a key way to counteract gaslighting (which is a huge problem for minorities).
Toby, unfortunately, was promoting gaslighting, and it’s not something I stand for here on my platform.
To me, respecting experiences you don’t relate to is basic decency; being raised in a different time is no excuse.
In my experience, many people often show as much disrespect as they think they can get away with, and only as much respect as they feel like they have to.
Those terms are coined by people who experience or support nonbinary identities. As for the identities themselves, nobody made them up. They are all part of reality.
Personally am xenogender aligned (genders categorized by animals, colors, sensations, feelings, and/or neurodivergences/brain fog/diagnoses, like pyrogender – where your gender feels like a flame of sorts – or pinkgender – where your gender feels like the color pink), and think maybe am earthgender, not entirely sure though. Autigender is also a xenogender, just btw.
I would like to add to the intersex definition that intersex people can be transgender, cisgender, non-binary or any of gender identities you have listed in your article.
Thanks Lannette, that’s great additional context.
I would like to point out that trans people can also be gender non-conforming.
Thanks, Ari—that’s a great note. I’ll update the article to make mention of it.
I’m still trying to figure out whether I’m nonbinary or a demigirl, and your blog has been a big help with the support that I need.. Thank you!
That’s great Alex. Hope you continue to find support and acceptance for who you are.
Oh, good lord! I read this with my trans friend and our heads are spinning.
Stay hydrated.
As someone who has been agender for decades, thank you very much for this blog. I go on the web and look for info about agender every 5 years or so, and now there seems to be enough that I could go on a few times and spend some time improving my knowledge. This has been a long time coming. It explains to me why even as a teenager I would say to my boyfriends, “I don’t want to be the girl in this relationship.” That felt like being part of someone else’s fantasy. I plan to read more of your opinions and experience. I have a lot to learn, even about my own experience.
Glad to hear that Susan! Remember that the best source of knowledge on what it’s like to be you is you. It’s awesome connecting with folks who have a similar experience, but don’t feel like you have to look at your life through my lens. You have your own. 🙂
hiya, i was wondering if anyone knows of a more specific term for me? I’ve used the label nonbinary for a while now and im fine sticking to that but i think it’d be interesting to figure out more about myself to see if there really is a more specific label, ill try to briefly describe how i feel. for starters, i experience dysphoria for my chest and a bit for my hips although sometimes it gets unbearable to even feel my own body brush against something. i also get dysphoric about my voice, birth name, and pronouns. i feel like my gender is right in the middle between male and female but im not sure if there’s a more specific term for that?? thanks if you bothered to read this ahah
Hm, there’s ambonec (that’s a gender identity in which you identify as both male and female, yet you also identify as neither, at the same time), androgyne (A gender identity where a person experiences a blending of genders, or feels that their identity is in between genders. Usually, but not always, people who identify as androgyne feel that their identity is a blending of male and female, or somewhere between those two genders. Androgyne people may or may not choose to present androgynously), complexgender (but that’s a xenogender so it most likely doesn’t apply to you, just is a term I thought of to suggest, it’s a combination of two genders which are arranged as axises, and the resultant gender is a point on the plane formed by them, like a complex number), Contrarigender/Oppogender/Divergender/Discrepantgender (all are gender identities for when you feel/are two – or more – contradicting or generally `opposite’ genders at the same time, such as being simultaneously completely gender-null and another gender), Garnetgender (A polygender identity that feels like a fusion of two or more genders that are very different from each other, but together feel like a single gender identity that’s a mix of the traits of the other genders), Genderpotion (A gender that is the result of a mix of many other, different genders – just a term I thought of to suggest), Ambigender (A feeling of two genders simultaneously, without fluidity/shifting. May be used synonymously, in some cases, with bigender), Plugender (“Plu” meaning “more” – as in ‘plural gender’ or ‘plus gender’; may be used to describe those who have multiple genders, or who sees their gender as being one multifaceted thing, possibly comprising multiple genders into one), and/or Venngender (When two genders overlap with each other, creating a whole new gender).
Gender can have nothing to do with dysphoria, though it can (also nonbinary folks of all genders can experience gender dysphoria in different ways).
Nice list. The next piece of help I need in understanding others’ experience of gender is a list of the things that experientially, internally, signify one’s own gender identity to ones’ own self.
Why I ask: In my internal experience of my own self, I do not feel anything I can recognize as a gender identity or preference. I know what I am assigned (woman) but it feels to me entirely assigned, not at all innate. I mostly wear tee shirts and jeans, mostly women’s (not always) because they fit better. I sometimes wear makeup when I go out, but only when social norms dictate it. If it were entirely up to me, I probably wouldn’t. I wear my hair long but only because I can cut it myself and don’t have to go to a stylist. I’m not bothered if someone mistakes me for a man.
If a genie gave me an opportunity to wake up tomorrow morning in a male body with an assigned gender as “man”, I’d probably take it for the economic and professional advantages. But I don’t sense my new male body or assigned gender would be any more or less in line with the person I REALLY am, inside.
Unlike you, though, I am not uncomfortable presenting myself as an assigned gender. I really, truly have no preference or identity of my own. I’m not bothered that the world considers me a woman, though I’m not particularly good at acting the part. It takes effort sometimes; and it definitely feels culturally imposed rather than innate.
So I don’t know what other people are talking about when they say they have a gender identity that comes naturally from within rather than being assigned. For example, do they know they’re a woman because of the clothes they like to wear? A desire to give birth? An interest in (I’m being silly, but I cannot think of other examples) chick flicks?
Another way to ask the same question: perhaps I do have a gender identity and just never learned how to recognize it. What should a person look for, in their own feelings, their own psyche, to find any innate gender identity or preference?
My experience with gender is definitely different from yours, but what predominantly helped me recognize that my gender was outside the cisgender and binary realm was my discomfort towards being presumed as solely female, and later male when I began to socially and hormonally transition. What I consider innate traits of my gender are the clothes, objects, and words that bring me happiness and a sense of self.
I’m also assigned female at birth, and have spent about six years trying out different paths to find out exactly who I am and what my gender is. I do pass as male (albeit a very young one), but what stops me from identifying as a binary trans man is the fact that passing as male doesn’t give me that sense of peace or happiness. I don’t regret my physical transition, though passing as male doesn’t make me feel fully seen as the person I am, and similar experiences can lead me to feel somewhat depressed and invisible. In regards to pronouns and labels, I’m partially searching for a feeling of euphoria or calmness when friends, family members, or strangers address me, beyond that personal sense of self.
Gender, to me, both does and doesn’t exist. It exists in the sense that people take labels and give them meaning, like being a man or a woman, but we also have to recognize that while attributes and stereotypes can fit some people, such as, “Women love makeup and chick flicks, and have a desire to give birth,” and “Men love cars and working out”, there are also women and men who fall outside these traditional norms, and many continue to identify with their assigned genders. We can’t create a perfect, all-encompassing definition for being male or female that fits every woman and man. Masculine women exist, as do feminine men. Some women are infertile, as are some men. Many people who have a uterus don’t wish to ever be pregnant. To try and create such a narrow and specific definition for these labels would likely exclude more people from using that gender label than otherwise, especially when it comes to the trans community. To me, the decision surrounding the use of a label boils down to how you interpret its meaning, and if you can find a sense of whether it fits or doesn’t fit who you are.
Gender has meaning if you give it meaning. Thus, a woman isn’t necessarily defined as such by her physical body or interests, but because she has found a connection to the word that makes sense to her in some manner, and she is content with that idea. Not everyone will have an innate spark of knowing that fact about themselves, but it’s something that can be found or comfortably settled into.
What you’ve described in your struggle to ascertain a sense of gender identity sounds as though you feel neutral, or indifferent towards gender. This article includes the agender label, which you might consider giving extra thought and research. Underneath the nonbinary umbrella are some terms that describe feeling indifferent, neutral, or void of gender, such as third gender and neutrois (both included in this article), all being equally valid identities. The journey towards understanding your gender and its expression is often complex. Ultimately, you might not find the help that you seek from external sources. Your personal understanding may (and often does) come as a result of a lot of introspection.
Even after six years of questioning my identity, I’m still learning more about what makes me feel comfortable in my skin. I don’t know everything about myself, and to try and do so would probably take my entire lifetime. You may not immediately find an answer, especially a fitting one, if you ever do. You may find a label that fits you for some months or years, and you later grow out of it. Some people even prefer to go without labels, and that may be something you find suitable for yourself. It’s okay to take as much time as you need to figure it out! There is no one way to reach the answer you’re looking for, that’s just the way that life is.
I hope my answer helped to shed some light on gender identity and the personal discovery of it, I wish you all the best in your journey!
I am profoundly grateful to be lucky enough to have many friends who range across these categories (including, of course, you). I have learned so very much about them, myself, and humanity through their generosity in sharing their thoughts, feelings, and experiences with me.
From coming into my supervision & management classes to talk about diversity from a perspective that opens (and pops some) eyes, to widening my personal knowledge and understanding of gender and sexual identity as ranges, or spectrums, rather than a binary switch, they have generously given of their time and vulnerability to share unique experiences of the world that have widened it to anyone willing to listen.
If you don’t know anyone (or don’t think you do – you might just be surprised there) who is outside of our M/F binary labeling, you are truly missing out.
Keep being awesome, Ramona. Glad to know you. 🙂
64 year old MTF on HRT. I just came across this site and I appreciate what you are doing. We judge people on many factors and society has been learning to not judge people on race, economic status and other ridiculous things. People need to be judged on their soul, their strength of character and how they care for and help others.
Gender is one more thing that society needs to stop using to judge others.
Adrien,
I am a 73 yo male. I’ve done and experienced a lot of things in my life. Many of those things fall into the ‘Manly-Man category’. However, I have never put myself into THAT category, I’m just me!
When I moved out of state in 1982, I lost contact with one of my best friends, camping buddy, motorcycling pal, and chick magnet, for a several years. When I finally found him again, he had Trans’ed to a Female. It was quite a shock of course!
She came to visit me while on a Business Trip, and we had some long detailed talks about the ‘WHY’ part of her situation. Once I understood that, the rest was not very difficult, but it took some real work on my part.
You see, after 20+ years of knowing Garry, and now trying NOT to perceive ‘him’ looking at me from behind Lauren’s face, was VERY hard to do! Even though Lauren’s voice was different in pitch, I still heard Garry’s. You see, I didn’t even know ‘this Lauren person!’ In fact, talking on the phone before her visit, I was ABSOLUTELY sure that this was just another ‘Gotcha’ that this time was being pulled on me!
After our visit and talk, I never rejected the idea that Garry WAS Lauren. After all, you must admit that who we are to the outside world is just a facade that we ourselves construct. There is the Physical self, and the Mental self, and if you are lucky….they match up.
What I learned through our talks was that Garry had been a tortured soul for most of his life. He had a very volatile personality. Having met his family on just one occasion, I understood why! Shortly after she visited, Lauren disappeared again, permanently. I can only hope that she is happy wherever she is now!
Sex : classification of a person as male or female based on biological characteristics (sex chromosomes, hormones, reproductive systems). : an adjective describing those whose gender identity or expression does not match the biological sex they were assigned at birth. A transgender person may or may not undergo hormone treatment or sex reassignment surgery, and medical intervention is considered just one part of a larger transition process. May be shortened to trans or trans* in certain instances. The asterisk emphasizes that many different identities fall under the larger transgender umbrella term.
My kids dont talk to me anymore because they believe that there are only 2 genders
Being a large part of the LGBTQ+ community, I really like this article! I had started to question my gender last December and started identifying as gender fluid before I started wondering if that was what really fit me or not. Then, my friend introduced me to new terms such as agender, demiboy, demigirl, and more, and that was when I realized that agender fit me perfectly. Since then I have become happier with who I am and even found my perfect preferred name not too long ago (maybe like three/four months ago). Granted, a few people consider me as a person with too many labels, but they help define me and make me happy. (The full list is agender, bisexual, demisexual, and polyamorous). Oh, and while it’s not a gender thing, polyam people get lots of hate too, even from some people in the LGBTQ+ community. I get more hate for that then for my pronouns XD
-Sincerely, a recently out-of-the-closet agendered person 🙂
Congrats on coming out about who you are, that’s so awesome. Hope you’re feeling proud of yourself for where you’ve come in your journey—I’m encouraged to hear about it. Thanks for stopping by to comment. 🙂
Don’t you think we just should stop using any gender and gender-related terms altogether? Instead of creating more, abolish the dichotomy of man/woman that exists today?
Even though I believe the dichotomy makes sense in a way, as people just saw sex and gender as the same thing, it is clear that it is not the same thing and it is a good thing that it is changing. However, I personally believe that this is kind of going in the wrong direction.
The first reason is that there are too many terms starting to be defined, with nuances that are indistinguishable for most people. Not just cis people, but also other genders. So ironically, the chances of misgendering people are higher while are these distinct terms are being used to stop misgendering people.
Other reason is that languages have continuously become less detailed through history. What I mean by that is that the grammar of languages is becoming more and more simple. Just compare English to Ancient Greek (or Latin): Greek has cases (nominativus, accusativus, genetivus, dativus substantives), genders (masculine, feminine, neutral substantives and adjectives), modes (indicative, imperative, optative, conjunctive, infinitive and participium verbs), times (present, imperfectum, futurum, aorist, plusquamperfectum, perfectum verbs), conditions (active, medium and passive verbs). In English the first two do not exist, while the verbs are a heavily boiled down version of what the Greek used to distinct. Therefore, I highly doubt that making the English syntax more difficult and even adding more words (apparently our vocabulary is getting smaller and our common day language is getting less rich) seems very improbable to me.
This does not have to be a problem though. Maybe it would be a good thing to just scrap all words and grammar that is influenced by gender. This might seem odd, yes, but for a French “êtes jolies” can only mean “vous êtes jolies” (you are beautiful being a group of woman), and when he has to guess “are beautiful” it can be “you/we//you/they are beautiful” in English. So a greater simplification of English could work and might be a more inclusive solution, ironically.
That would work nicely for me (and it sounds like you), but gender is still meaningful to the majority of people. People like to be able to communicate about what holds meaning for them.
If we’re sharing language without sharing values, vocabulary and syntax are going to expand.
Until more people are willing to let go of gendering things, they need words to help them conceptualize thought without gender. I see it as a temporary solution.
This is a good start! Unfortunately, your list is poorly out of touch. You’ve just scratched the surface, but it’s good to see you’re interested in the concept of gender. Good luck with filling out that list. There are resources if you’re looking to be more inclusive with your project.
I hope leaving this comment made you feel good.
My mistake as it seemed that creating a comprehensive and living list was your goal. BBC ran an article on a teacher in 2019 who creating a course to explain “100 genders and more” while I saw a list by the LGBTQ that had well over a hundred. Something I have heard from gender deniers is, “All you’re doing is avoiding being labeled by using just a far more complex labeling system?” They don’t grasp the 3rd gender concept, right? Gender no longer means what’s in your pants and the truth is that there are more genders every day. That’s the POINT of gender : ) It can be anything you want! Anything you feel! I met a man, not joking, who’s gender felt fluid to the car he was driving. He says he’s ‘autogender’ and who can tell him he’s wrong? The more genders you have listed, the more people will learn and be inspired. My answer to that gender denier comment is, “Gender is now an open-ended question, which means there is no right or wrong answer. It’s who you feel you are and can be anything you want it to be.”
We see things differently.
Didn’t you mention that gender is how you experience it and the world and life. She described just that and you disagreed. I don’t understand what point you are trying to make. You are being closed minded to how some people’s experience. That was cruel to deny their experience…
I’m not really trying to make a point. I’m just curious to see what people feel comfortable saying to me without seeming to have even read my article.
Well, you are excluding valid genders in that case and not acknowledging them here. I would think if you are being inclusive, you would list any you find.
I didn’t say how we saw things differently.
Being inclusive and pandering to strangers who think they are authorities on inclusivity are not the same.
I had to come back and take another look, because something was rubbing me the wrong way. Despite how wonderful it is to see all of our people coming together, what’s wrong with your site is that there’s no counterpoint. Everyone here just agrees for the most part, which is fine if we want to feel better, but a bad idea for preparing us to discuss this topic with gender deniers. Have you ever thought about inviting another side and challenging them to shoot us down? I think this would help us if we could create responses in a safe environment with the things that have been used against us personally. Just a thought.
Sounds like you have a website idea. Go ahead and start it.
Fair point : ) It’s your website so you control the content. Was just trying to insert a little feedback, but unfortunately I feel the usual toxicity here that is pervading us to the point where we attack even our own. My only point is that I spend time seeking out gender deniers and asking them, “What’s your problem with the new gender model?” It’s enabled me to build better responses and keep my eye on the truth. My dad always told me, “If your beliefs can’t stand up to words, then you don’t have any real beliefs. You have faith.” Of course he was talking about the authoritarian Catholic regime, but I think it rings true here. Because when you engage the other side, sometimes they ask you questions you actually can’t answer and that’s a signal to regroup. I mean… If I can’t explain to you why something makes sense, my first instinct is maybe I need to revisit that belief? And that’s how you change or end up discovering better concepts of why things are the way they are .
Without being challenged, I find people fall into dark holes where their only response sounds like an ignorant and lazy parent yelling, “Cause I said so!!!” That doesn’t make for good parenting, does it? I tell my children why, my proof behind it, and challenge them to restate their objections with better supporting evidence or fall in line. That’s how you truly debate people and that is where I’ve learned you can start to change people’s minds. Sticking to the narrative makes people feel better as long as their follow the narrative, but it pushes others to the defensive. If you engage them, that’s where the magic happens.
If you would like a debate, you’re barking up the wrong tree.
Haha, thank you for proving my point. That’s our weakness, my friend. We demand everyone does as we say, but we can’t actually argue the point. That’s why we get mad instead of throwing back a good argument.
I’m not sure who “we” is, and I’m not mad.
And both comments are gone. Sigh… I wish you well, but it seems like you just want to stick to what makes you comfortable and put on a blindfold for everything else. That’s confirmation bias. And you edit anything that doesn’t follow your very specific narrative, following a strategy of, “Do what I say or you’re the enemy.” That’s restriction of free speech. Both of those are the weapons they use against us, so we should probably avoid them ourselves. Or else you are the same as them in every way. The only difference is that you’re on this side, but your energy is the same. A toxic bully who’s not interested in hearing other opinions. That’s why the world is laughing at us, you know. They see the forest, but we’re in the trees. It is that attitude of, “Comply NOW to ME or YOU are WRONG!” that robbed our momentum. It’s why so much of the LGBTQ and feminists hate us. We kick down their doors, steal their press, and rearrange their homes. We’ve become a movement that steals rights from others so that we can tell them what to do. Don’t you see that we are our own worst enemy? Best of luck and I do hope you open up some day.
You’re making a lot of assumptions about me that are so off base that I’m not even going to bother spending the energy addressing them.
But I will point out that this is my personal website. Not a manifesto for somebody else’s movement.
I have really appreciated this website. Agender is the term that fits best for me, and I’ve appreciated Adrien’s willingness to share their (?) perceptions related to being agender. For example, somewhere on the site they said that the rules for gendered behavior were too confusing and complicated to abide by (words to that effect). Another time they said that gender felt fake to them. This is a lot clearer to me than what most agender people write on e.g., reddit, or say on their youtube video. Usually they define themselves by what they are not (not masculine, not feminine) and then they define themselves into a much broader category like non-binary or gender queer. That doesn’t tell me much. I challenged myself to write a poem with my experience of what being agender IS (for me) instead of what it is not. Not sure how to share that as I don’t have a website. Maybe get one of those blog sites. There is someone on YouTube who identifies as neutrois transgender who is very interesting on the subject. They go through all the questions on the Gender Tag Project. This person has gotten rid of all body hair, lightened their skin a little, and says “I use a lot of vaseline.” They are ethnically Chinese. Perhaps you have seen their video. Anyway, people sharing their “agender perceptions” and experience is hard to find. As I go back through my own experience, I can notice times when I would identify with a character who was a real he-man, but not identify because of the gender. He was the only person in the movie who was finding himself or doing anything else interesting. His gender didn’t matter to me (at the risk of making you cringe, I am thinking of Maverick in Top Gun). I also wrote about feeling some distance from gendered people, or feeling distance from a book where the reader was assumed to be feminine. Anyway, the last stanza of the poem: “I ask the other agenders:/ who were your movie heroes,/ what song lyrics spoke to you/ when you were young;/what events happened/ that let you know/ you were formed before/ there were gendered choices?” I don’t find it easy to write about this subject. Maybe that is why other people avoid it. I think the poem needs sharpening up but I might have to evolve more to do that.
Thanks for commenting, Susan. You’re on a beautiful journey. Keep going. I’m rooting for you.
So the way this is going the number of gender types is starting to resemble more and more of the diversity of individuals on the planet, meaning: gender is an individually unique experience of the world. We all are unique beings with unique collections of experiences that make us who we are. If this is where we are heading it makes more sense to change “gender” to individuality which would be more accurate and less crazy making unless you plan to make a 4 billion and growing list of gender types.
I’m not really planning on that. It’s helpful for people to find commonality, and naming things we have in common is useful. Just because gender isn’t binary doesn’t have to mean it’s “crazy making.”
We don’t seem to make these kinds of judgements about other complex subjects, like chemistry, for example. We just accept that it’s complicated.
(Actually, now that I make that comparison, I realize that plenty of scientists have been persecuted for suggesting that things were more complicated than the status quo assumed. Part of evolving, I suppose.)
Haha! Ok, I’m sorry but the comment about Chemistry made me laugh. I totally understand where your mind is at; however, that correlation breaks down fast. There are many molecules and interactions, sure, but it all goes back to the periodic table of elements. That table was invented before half of those elements were even discovered. Because we understood that counting protons, neutrons, and electrons created a predictable pattern that is the fabric of all physical existence. It’s not like a hydrogen atom can identify as an iron atom. Atoms (and therefore everything else) are literally decided by an objective reasoning of their physical nature. This is exactly the opposite of what the new gender argument is. “Gender” now means whatever people want it to be and therefore something closer to a concept of infinity. You can be ANYTHING you want. That’s the point of it. I think we should be careful before comparing gender to any science besides psychology because that’s the only science of the mind. Gender is 100% mental and has zero basis in any physical science.
You don’t totally understand where my mind is at, but glad you tried. 🙂
History will tell (if any of us are around to listen).
You’ve got it : ) Gender is an open ended question now and that means it’s infinite. You cannot successfully label something emotional in a scientific way. Chemistry has the periodic table. Physics has Newtonian science. Mathematics have numbers. All these things are definite and (until new science is discovered) easily understood fact. If you were calculating the weight of a structure for a new building, it’s not like a number 8 could suddenly ‘identify’ as a 3, right? Science couldn’t function like that. Gender is entirely the person’s opinion. They could identify as a child, or an old man, or a drop of sunlight (which only makes sense emotionally). Gender has lost all scientific meaning. It is, in a word, subjective. And science doesn’t DO subjectivity. If Gender WAS able to be defended scientifically, there would be a table of genders. Point is, people are coming up with whatever describes how they feel. That’s why forms now say, “Male / Female / Other.” That “other” category is into the hundreds by now.
I don’t really care what you think.
We are all children of God.. when we go back to God there is no gender, only a soul. We should love and respect each other – as we are each a unique gift. Give to this world your best, and the world should return the same. And if it doesn’t – try harder to get outside of yourself help one another and you will be filled with goodness.
“if it doesn’t, try harder” but also recognize that we can all choose whether we support power structures that oppress people, or we can choose to dismantle those power structures.
And “giving it your best” works out better for people who are already sitting pretty.
Punch up, don’t punch down.