Hi. I’m Adrien Converse. I’m a surreal artist, musician, and content strategist living in the quirky & cloudy town of Bellingham, WA. I spend a lot of my spare time learning about plants in the woods.

I also happen to be a person who has no gender. I’m not a man, and I’m not a woman.

The word for this is agender. For various reasons, my genderlessness is seen as invalid to the majority of the society I live in. That means it’s challenging to be myself in any social situation, because at every turn I’m faced with the false perception that I must be either man or a woman. Instead of seeing me, people just pick one of those two categories, and treat me as though I belong to it.

adrien converseThis means I get a front-row seat to the ways our culture arbitrarily treats men and women differently, which is enlightening, and I’m grateful for what I get to learn.

But it also means I’ve spent the majority of my life having the wrong gender imposed on me by the government, doctors, acquaintances, and even all of my friends and family. Most of my life, not a single person could even see me beyond their false assumptions about my gender. The word “alienating” barely begins to describe it.  

At the end of 2018, I decided that I wouldn’t accept a reality in which I have to be someone other than myself just to participate in society. I realized that I was part of society, and that meant I could change it so that there was room for me. That meant socially and physically transitioning into expressing who I really was, instead of expressing who I was told I had to be.
To kick things off, on January 1, 2019, I announced publicly on social media that I wasn’t a man, and I wasn’t a woman. Shortly after that, I started this site.
People have responded to me in a huge variety of ways—from cutting me out of their lives to sharing hidden sides of their souls with me. I’ve found that very few people have any idea how much they’re incorrectly taking for granted about the people around them when it comes to gender. Instead of actually seeing each other, we’re telling each other who we are.

I’m passionate about spreading what I’m learning, because it’s making me a better, stronger, and happier person. There’s a lot of pressure to conform in our society, and that pressure almost destroyed me. It filled me with shame about who I was, and convinced me that I had no option to express myself for almost 30 years.

We all are part of creating and perpetuating this pressure. And we can also be part of undoing it.

We could all stand to do some deconformingThat’s what I hope to help myself and others do by creating this site.

A few other facts about me

I’m the surreal artist and producer/composer Lurm. I also co-founded the content marketing agency, Overthink Group.

Don’t be a stranger: I love connecting with like-minded folks. Find me on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.